How to Spot an Abusive Relationship

Violence in any relationship is no laughing matter – it is very serious.  As people, we have the natural right to be free from aggression in all forms, and those that choose to aggress against others are in the moral wrong.

The website, www.womenshealth.gov, lists many signs of an abusive relationship, and their literature clearly states, “Some of these are illegal. All of them are wrong.”

As we head into the end of summer, I think it would be good to review some of the signs.  An abuser: 

• Monitors what you're doing all the time – Recent revelations clearly show that our government is actively spying on its citizens.
• Unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the time – What is the first thing that the government does when someone points out that they are wrong? Why, question patriotism and call them a traitor.
• Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family – Want to travel freely as a citizen?
• Prevents or discourages you from going to work or school – Want to walk on the street freely?
• Gets very angry during and after drinking alcohol or using drugs – The drug war failure.
• Controls how you spend your money – Taxation is theft, pure and simple.
• Controls your use of needed medicines – Never mind actual drugs, watch out for walnuts!
• Decides things for you that you should be allowed to decide (like what to wear or eat) – Sagging pants illegal?!
• Humiliates you in front of others – Unlawful, humiliating, traffic searches.
• Destroys your property or things that you care about – Eminent domain?
• Threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets – Shoots your dog, then tries to cover it up.
• Hurts you (by hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting) – Police violence happens all the time.
• Uses (or threatens to use) a weapon against you – Drone strikes against US citizens?
• Forces you to have sex against your will – I won’t link to a specific one, but there are plenty of news stories about police rape…sickening.
• Controls your birth control or insists that you get pregnant – Plenty of articles here.
• Blames you for his or her violent outbursts – Don’t sign a traffic ticket…get beat within an inch of your life, and it is your fault (5:16).
• Threatens to harm himself or herself when upset with you – Remember all of the sequestration hoopla?
• Says things like, "If I can't have you then no one can." – Refuse to pay taxes? Then they want your passport.

The womenshealth.gov site concludes with, “If you think someone is abusing you, get help. Abuse can have serious physical and emotional effects. No one has the right to hurt you.”

I couldn’t say it any better, however, I would add one item to the list:

• An abuser will probably continue to say that they will change.

They might even start a website called change.gov that promises just that...but they won't change.  They are creatures of habit.